Not enjoying motherhood/fatherhood
Not enjoying parenthood? You are definitely not alone!
Parenting can be a lot of fun but that doesn’t make it less challenging, exhausting and downright hellish at times.
We often picture ourselves making a perfect childhood for our children, cozy snuggles under the blanket, playing together and having fun but not fulfilling those expectations often make us feel even worse. The higher the expectations the more disappointed you’ll be.
Social media doesn’t help either. In fact, most of the things people post are positive things showing a one-sided version of their lives. Only seeing the highlights of others’ lives make us feel even worse since we compare with our own lives.
To start enjoying parenthood:
- Lower your expectations and embrace the good and the bad. That is life with children, for everyone! Aim to be more mindful of the expectations you may have previously held, and let those go if they no longer align with the person your child is becoming. Every child is individual and possesses their own sets of amazing qualities, choices, talents, likes, loves, ambitions and fears. By truly appreciating and understanding our children’s choices, decisions, and viewpoints we ourselves become more open, educated and accepting of new experiences and perspectives.
- Realize social media isn’t the whole truth, don’t compare your life with others because you have no idea what they don’t show. Perfectionism in parenting allows room for negative thoughts, such as detrimental comparisons and guilt, which in due time, can emotionally drain us and impact all family members’ health and happiness. Setting unfair pressures onto family members to look or act one way destroys the harmony within the family by restricting the feelings of self-expression and freedom.
- Make sure you have a life outside of the family to pursue your passions and recharge your energy. You don’t stop being you, just because you became a parent! Embrace self-awareness to put your priorities first and foremost. By being happy and healthy within ourselves, we in turn can react and respond to our children from the best place of calmness, contentment and understanding possible.
- Assess your own emotions. A common problem I encounter is parents worried they are yelling too often and instead seeking better, constructive ways of dealing with frustration and conflicts. Encouraging us to be more aware of our own emotions when in highly stressful moments lets us pause, assess our own emotions and triggers, and then in that serene moment, gives us the control to choose to react differently, from a place of calmer, deeper understanding. This serene approach strengthens our bond to our children as it encourages communication and collaboration in addressing and resolving issues.
If you feel you have no control or you’re experiencing parental burnout symptoms, don’t hesitate to seek help. You have no idea how common this is.
In a free, 30 minute session with me I can help you to identify which areas of parenting you are not enjoying and perhaps the reasons why. Together we can understand these and create an actionable plan that you can take away and begin to use to start enjoying parenthood and your children once again.