Not wanting to breastfeed or to have a vaginal birth

When becoming a parent, especially a mom, no matter what you do, you will do it wrong in some people’s eyes. It’s interesting really because there are few clear right and wrong situations in parenting. Others opinions about you often have something to do with the person judging you rather what you do.

Parents I work with often want a simple answer what’s right or wrong in a specific situation or what’s best for the child; to breastfeed or not for example, will I ruin my baby if I don’t breastfeed?

The truth is not universal (even though some strongly believe it is), it’s very individual. Instead of trying to find out what’s right about every specific thing and situation, find out what makes you feel good and happy. That is the most important guideline you can ever follow. When you feeling well and happy you’re far more attentive and responsive to your child. And the best at knowing what makes you happy is you. So trust yourself!

And if someone insists that you should breastfeed or have a vaginal birth I recommend you to take one of two paths:

  1. Become a researcher, ask “why?”, “how do you know that?”, “where have you read that”, “can you show me a source to that information, I’d like to know more?”. Through asking relevant questions others cannot answer they don’t have much more to add because these are opinions, not science.
  2. Just don’t answer, you don’t owe other an explanation.