The philosophy of Peaceful Parenting aims for a broader understanding of the dynamics between us as parents and our children when faced with challenging parental situations. In peaceful parenting, we work with ourselves and our own behavior, responses, and emotions similar to the mindful parenting approach to understand and respect our children. It prioritizes the importance of meeting underlying needs that may drive the behavior while teaching vital developmental skills of cooperation, integrity, and self-discipline that can benefit future situations for all parties, all whilst maintaining our connection, care, and warmth to our children.
Peaceful Parenting Techniques
When peaceful parenting is discussed, it will often go hand in hand with questions about where discipline fits into peaceful parenting. These techniques give a broad outline of how peaceful parenting establishes mindful, cooperative boundaries that prioritize a punishment-free approach to develop relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
- Say “no” to punishment – Peaceful parenting does not condone or involve short-term solutions such as fear-based obedience, or strategizing punishment and reward. Instead, we should encourage our children to make choices grounded in integrity, discipline, and responsibility by curating a culture of mutual respect aided by empathetic and respectful listening and sensitivity to others’ feelings. This open discourse leads to diplomatic, collaborative problem solving when facing difficult issues and, in the long term, strengthens a harmonious, healthy connection between family members based in love, respect, and compassion.
- Connect, connect, connect – Any parenting philosophy would fall short if it were not for connection. The connection is a core principle of any healthy relationship with our children and must be nurtured consistently in things like playtime, open discussions, hugs, and physical contact. In peaceful parenting, boundaries are clear, realistic, and openly discussed. If our children do not feel connected to us, very often they feel unloved and are more prone to pushing back on those limits we have set. By connecting with our children, they feel the love from us and, in turn, respect us and our boundaries.
- Parenting for the long run – The peaceful parenting approach acknowledges the impact we as parents make on our children. What we do today will have consequences for our children tomorrow. That’s is also why respect is key to the approach since no person blossoms when criticized, manipulated, or forced to comply. Instead, mutual respect, responsiveness, and integrity are what guide our parenting.
- Set boundaries from places of empathy – In peaceful parenting, we try to view life from our children’s perspective. When our child faces something, they’s prefer not to do such as leaving a fun play or toothbrushing, acknowledging their concerns or emotions, explaining why this needs to be done, and making our expectations clear instead of forceful demands or bribing ease the situation and enhances collaboration. This way, we maintaining a warm, supported relationship with our children as they feel their problem and perspective is understood.
- Harbour a place of safety – When our children repress their emotions, instead of expressing them, it often leads to uncooperative or challenging behavior. When we stay calm, compassionate, and responsive when our children are angry or upset, our children feel safe, comfortable, and confident to express what is really troubling them. This allows us to work collaboratively once again to address and alleviate the true cause of the behavior. Furthermore, it also teaches our children to be more self-aware and grow their emotional self-control.
- Coach, don’t control – One of the key ways children learn is by watching us. If they witness threats, manipulation, or any other negative form of communication, this indicates to the child that this is acceptable and is the way they should behave and communicate. Instead, guide your child to more constructive behavior by identifying triggers to certain emotions or scenarios, and then being mindful of your own reactions amongst those scenarios.
The Benefits Of Peaceful Parenting
By now, I hope you can see the benefits and effects of peaceful parenting. Although peaceful parenting often draws criticism for how it handles and uses discipline, it should not be mixed up with permissive parenting. Peaceful parenting does not punish unwanted behavior. Instead, it promotes proactively teaching and supporting emotional regulation, control, and empathy. While this might seem vague and indistinct, it actually isn’t. By creating a trustworthy, collaborative environment, the long term benefits produce a more harmonious and productive family unit that is better equipped to deal with life’s challenges.
Additionally, when we as parents learn to look for the cause, our children’s behavior helps us be more empathetic, compassionate, and understanding. When understanding our children, we often feel more in control and happier just as with conscious parenting, and our children become more versatile and insightful individuals as a result.