What To Do If Your Son Always Wants His Mom
It’s more of a rule than not that a child prefers one parent before the other in different parts of their lives. It’s difficult for both parents where a son wants his Mom and leaves little attention left for the Father. One parent is hurting and feels powerless to be rejected, and the other feels smothered and needs some time away.
When a child is small, she prefers the parent who takes care of her the most, feeds, comforts, and soothes her. At about six months, separation anxiety develops, and she seeks the person she is most accustomed to and who means safety for her. People in this age preferred in a hierarchical order. Separation anxiety continues through to about two to two and a half years and peaks at around 18 months. It can continue even after, though, especially when a child’s hungry, tired or sad. The parents’ preference is changeable, and for older children, it’s dependable on their needs at that specific time.
It is not uncommon that moms are the favorite in the early years and change when the child becomes older and are more curious and wants to explore where many dads suit their current needs better.
It’s also perfectly fine for the preferred parent to be the one who comforts and puts the child to bed if there is strength for it. If so, the rejected parent can make a habit of being there and saying goodnight, hug, and comfort as well. This way, the child gets the comfort she needs and knows the other parent also always are available and loving.
For older children, the preferred parent will alter between different periods but also situations. For example, she might prefer one parent to go to the dentist and the other to play with.
If you feel rejected by an older child, try to find a common interest that you share or spend some time alone, only the two of you.
It takes time
As painful and heartbreaking this can be, this will pass. It takes time, but it does pass, and it doesn’t set any long-lasting effects or marks on your relationship as long as you keep being gentle and present. For additional support, why not check out one of my parenting coaching packages?